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16.6.09

last night /
crazy thoughts were bolting through my mind
tactlessly flinging themselves on the walls of my brain
and heart
and i'm just disappointed
i feel gay for being fat
for being too loud, even
i know there's someone out there for me
and i know i just have to wait
but it's not wrong to be impatient, or is it?
i'm on the edge of turning les
i just wish i had someone who loves me back
it's so funny right,
you never thought liling would feel this way huh
like some teenager syndrome
it's disgusting, i know it is
but guys i'm not afraid of telling you how shitty i feel
or how desperate i appear to be right now..
but i love you guys for understanding how i feel

i'm so stupid to submit myself to someone who was just playing around with me
to even do shit for him
i just wish he saw me the way you guys do...
but i broke it, didn't i
everything. last night.
sorry was all he could say.
my happy soup
has turned cold.

go ahead laugh if you want to.
i think i have compulsive typing syndrome
i really should stop.right.here.
bye