This morning I woke up to a very pissing off maid.
"Johnna, can you help me pack my stuff? Like a little bit here and there? :)"
"Later I pack then you can't find your things then you shout at me."
"Help a bit lah, I haven't got the time."
"Heh you spend the whole day on the computer talking to your Israeli, you have no time?"
"He hasn't been online for the whole week!"
"Heh you don't believe me, I tell your parents about what you do then you know."
I almost cried when I walked out of the house.
She threatened me, she effing threatened me!!!
And I haven't shouted at her since like what, Sec one?
I didn't even blame her for the things that got lost, like my Physics textbook.
She has been condemning me for such a long period of time, I haven't even blasted off at her once.
She told me about so many of the wrong things I've been doing and she actually used it against me. As if she's so effing perfect.
I hope she never ever gets married, seriously.
She can go back to Philippines and grow her crops. I hope they die anyway.
And the cows won't produce milk from her and the pigs will fart in her face.
This is the most disrespectful maid in the whole entire world.
I hate it when people try to discipline me in a gay way.
Why couldn't she just have said, "Um, how about we clean it up TOGETHER after you come back from church?"
I don't know what God is trying to say to me by the way she threatened me but I do know how good God is through this situation because He loves people just like herself, He even gave Jesus up for her.
Maybe God's testing me- He is the Potter and I am the clay; He knows how long I can stay in the kiln through the fire and heat and He'll take me out of it before I crack.
So I shall persevere, clean my room myself and not talk to her in case I lose it.
I'm in Music Ministry again, training as background vocals instead of lead this time round.
I don't know why though, hahaha so I'll probably ask again on Friday.
I really feel at peace with God and I'm just so damn excited just thinking about the ways He's gonna use me to touch lives, to evangelise.
He put me in my school for a reason.
And when He saved me, He was thinking of the other people I was going to touch and save.
I used two F words on Friday. I'm gonna try to hit 0 on Monday.
I'll treat myself to 5 hours of undisturbed art therapy in the Sanctuary :)
Right now it's drizzling.
Belle has all the pictures we took from a picnic cum Fusion day.
I've got blistered feet but who cares- I've haven't jumped this much for joy in revelation of Him setting me free.
Take me deeper in love with You.
I don't care what people may say, Lord- I'm running after You.
For Char-J:
I cried that day about my comprehension marks not because I felt condemned by what Mrs Dass said about me not running the race and giving up, but because You sang those words "No matter what may come my way, I'm running after You." I cried because you kind of told me that yes, this race may be tough but the most important thing at the end of this race is Jesus, and how He honours my struggles. That yes, there may be storms that come- but these storms PASS and the best thing is, He's in it with me, carrying me.
That day I just felt Jesus holding me, loving me, telling me that it was Him I was living for and thank you so much for reminding me, even if it was random of you to sing that but it meant so, so much to me. You're such a blessing :)
L O V E
22.2.09
