★
★
I woke up early in the morning having this sudden urge to play Desert Song on my guitar.
And so I did, and it made me feel really blessed - just as church camp had made me feel.
Even if my group was kind of quiet and stuff, everything we've learnt in camp really made a difference in my life.
The focus was really on God and I felt that camp was a true success- I didn't succumb to too many distractions (like joking around with friends, forgetting about God etc.)
I can understand the secondary understanding in Christianity but without the basics, my faith could be shaken and... it wouldn't be complete.
So I'm going to discipline myself to read the Gospels every night, to learn more about His love for me :)
All the theme talks during camp were good and I could feel God with us every single minute.
Also, I figured that feeling God isn't the only emotion in which you get down on your knees with tears in your eyes but I could feel Him at any time of the day, when I am conscious of His presence.
During ministry time, we had to sit together in our groups to share and I told them that I had this addiction.
It has been haunting me for about.. 3 years now.
I sat there and with my head bowed down during prayer, I couldn't stop my tears from rolling down, I couldn't stop my chest from collapsing- all because of how this addiction had made me feel.
Charlotte gave me tissue paper and she led me to a corner.
And there, she hugged me, stroked my head and she told me "Liling, you must believe. Those are all lies, Liling, not true.. not true at all.Give it to Him, and He will take it for you." She held me and right there.. I felt God.
When I raised my head to look at Charlotte's smile, I saw God.
I saw my Jesus on the cross, His stripes and His injuries..
I saw the fullness of His grace and felt His embrace through another precious daughter of Him.
Charlotte told me how precious I was, how beautiful I was and Sean Pong also prayed that people won't look at my exterior but my heart for Jesus.
I thought that no one would help me pray about my inferiority issues but God gave me Sean's prayer.
I guess the most important thing that night was what Charlotte told me: to replace my old habit with another one. A cleaner, healthier one.
That night the whole bunch of us were gathered around, holding each other.
I thank God for Brent too; we felt his hurt and we all laid hands on him.
Just because, Brent, we really want you to experience God's Holy Spirit working in your life again, that when you have troubles and heartbreaks, you can turn to Jesus for comfort.
Camp was so awesome, even if "the games weren't dirty enough" (quote: John) but.. it taught me a whole new way of knowing God, of even seeing Him.
Char, even though you went off, camp really wasn't the same for Lawrence, Belle and sometimes .. me.
Because I realised that when Belle was feeling confused, I put myself in her shoes and told myself that I'd turn to you for a listening ear. You can lean on my pillow-like-shoulder as many times you want :)
Belle, I know it's so hard for you to handle but just give it to God and try your best to love her as a friend again, no matter how many shitty looks she gives you, try to love. I'm trying to love you-know-who too. It's hard, hey, but AIYA I'll hold your hand and try with you.
Cara, you're crazy. But it was really funny when the realisation dawned on me! Thanks for always being there for me to poke you, for giving me a smile whenever camp got a teeny bit tiring because of the atmosphere and my moods. I love you very much :) x1000000
John, I hope you remember my bubble magnet, that J is for joy! :) I also realised that you have a beautiful heart for God and I feel blessed having you as a friend and AGL for camp. Keep persevering!
Lawrence, this leader who sat in with my group told us this: the further away you feel from God, the closer He is to you. :) I love you Lawrence my Sunny friend!
Ryan, I saw how much you were crying and I guess you have alot of emotional baggage. But give it to God, let go, and try to forgive Chris when he's starting to get ego. I'm always an SMS away and I really find it heartwarming when I call your name and you call back "Lilinggg" in that slurry voice. Friends till the end.
Gerald, even though getting married to an athlete who made me run 10 suicides, who made 10 bucks every half an hour isn't the best thing, but knowing you as a friend who is always there to understand and to listen is enough for me. I love you too :)
Dear Charlotte, thanks for letting me experience God's love & grace for me once again.
xoxo
Ling
