Sit down, and take a look at this girl.
She's so full of passion; one who harbours a mad drive for life.
Watch her posture closely now.
As she stares blankly,
Probably thinking of what ridiculous apathy you have for her.
Probably bleeding internally;
For the impact was that of a wave at high tide,
An unstoppable, unfeeling force,
Crashing down on her heart,
Drowning it with the devil's most powerful negations.
Nay, girl, nay.
***
I watch you flip its printed pages as your tongue licks your cherry coloured lips.
The magazine that held your attention was as if watching someone turn a kaleidoscope.
Bold.
Rich.
Enchanting.
But all I see in your paintbox is nothing but a solemn grey.
Dab at it with a soft, wet brush and the paint overwhelms, engulfs its tip.
Oh, you must have seen your paintbox before!
Breathed in the scent of dye, rolled your fingers on the powdered paint surface as well.
Now, tell me.
What do you see in hers?
What colour, what joy, what sensuality!
What exuberance, what love, what feeling!
What hurt, what hope, what...
(Gently, now.) Faith.
***
First and second poems by me.
They portray a contrast between somebody and myself.
Never in my life have I felt so much hurt and callous indifference from someone so dear.
If anyone should make me feel inferior,
Mother,
You were the first.
(As all your dreams come crashing down)
Jesus, I heard You.
In the car.
When I was listening to More Than Life and meditating on the words of that song:
How can it be that You were the one on the cross?
Lifted for all our shame..
How can it be that the scars on Your hands were for me?
You are the King of all..
I love You more than life.
I heard You.
And it's a voice that can never replace anyone else's.
You called me in the most intimate way anyone can, 'Ling.'
And I replied through gritted teeth and blurred teary vision, 'Yep?'
'I love You'.
Jesus, You are so beautiful to me.
You have never left me in my time of need.
You were there last night when I was beginning to scare myself with my own imagination.
I knew You were there, because I felt the Holy Spirit conquering my fear for me.
Jesus, You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I am Yours forever.
20.10.08