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29.4.08

Is this more than you bargained for yet.
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet.
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans.
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him?
I'm just a notch in your bedpost,
But you're just a line in a song.

And I mean it.
It's 7.31, thank you once again for tuning to HOW TO KILL A LI LING on WTF? FM.
I really need to finish up a Chinese newspaper cutting project before my eyes shut.
I hate the leftover homework, it's what I contributes to my hatred of the word "deadline" and teachers who go crazy every lesson.
Right now, I don't give a damn as to how much effort she gives into her teaching- I appreciate that, but her screaming and yelling just pisses everybody off, especially when the aircon's motor goes haywire in the afternoon.
So yesterday I was complaining out loud "The heat is killing me!" which is "RE SI REN LE!" in Chinese.
She was standing in front of my table and she said "Xing jing ren zi ran liang!" which means: if a person's heart is "cooled down", his physical body will feel the same way.
Then she starts scolding with a piercing, demanding voice all over again.
Behold, the irony.
I wonder how could she even get married.
You hear her shit once in a while, fine, that's understandable.
But everyday? It's like she has an anger management problem or something.
To me, it's like she's suffering from a post mid-life crisis, her being in probably her late twenties or early thirties?
Ahh I don't know, it scared me at first but now everyone's just rolling their eyes and I bet all of you they're thinking "Zzz, whatever lah".

My feelings lately have been complicated.
Sometimes I feel afraid of being extreme of having different personalities, and sometimes I just feel entirely bored to death, especially when the truth dawns on me that I'm stuck in a sterile Singaporean student life.
I'm dying, I really am.
These Mid-Year exam marks will affect my grades for the Final Year exam.
And if I fail badly for my FYE, then I'll just have to kiss 4D goodbye and repeat another year.
I don't want to.
Oh God save my brain.

I'll be your number one with the bullet,
A loaded God complex,
Cock it and pull it.

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