Dear God,I sit here in my chair now thinking of how blessed I am to have You in my life. Whenever I want to find rest in You, yes, You're there. Whenever I'm sick, I feel You lying down next to me, holding me in Your embrace. But Lord, I haven't done my part. You want to talk to me -but I won't listen. You want to hold me back from giving my heart to the world- but I silence my conscience and go ahead with my way. My way, my way. Not Yours. Jesus, I'm starting to see the world through Your eyes. I see the humanity: the pain, the joy, the futile fights and most importantly, the world fighting against You. But this is the Christ I serve. The One whom the world hates, the one and only begotten Son who died on Calvary, who walked upon the Via Delorosa for me. This life sentence that I'm supposed to be serving, yet You took it for me. And there could never be a love greater than this that'll ever exist. I also pray that You take this sin away from me, then while You cleanse me, I might learn to hate it too, to know that pleasures are temporary and meaningless, that I'm made a Conqueror through Him who loves me (Romans 8:37). You know what, Lord? I love You. I love You because You understand what the hell I'm going through sometimes, the condemnation and the shame. Yet sometimes I take You for granted. Nah, in fact, MOST of my life. Lord, I pray that You take away my uncle's pain and let Him know that You will be there for me throughout His entire life the moment He believed in Your gift of salvation that You gave up Your life to give him the abundant one, and on the day he dies, I can confidently say that he's with you and no demon can ever try to ruin Your beautiful placing in heaven for him. And Jesus, You knew exactly who to place me with upon these three months of crap. You poured Your favour upon me and just like in Sec One when nobody did find Loh Li Ling appealing, You did. And I relied on that, I was conscious of Your love and hey, now people start talking to me and. Dude. I'm HAPPY. CONFIDENT. CONTENT! Yeah, happier with You of course, better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere. Amen. To God Be The Glory.
Today is Wednesday. I passed my 2.4 KM run yesterday with a timing of 16 minutes and 38 seconds. IT'S SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER PASSED MY 2.4 KM EVER SINCE PRIMARY FOUR. (I was probably lazy back then.) So when I was running the last lap, I let Christ consume my thoughts. And there, I bolted past Sec Ones and Twos, counted the steps I took and finished off the fight against this "you-can't-make-it" mindset. And guess what, I did it. I actually did it. School has been ridiculously fun and learning's oh-so-easy suddenly, and I'm looking forward to every POA lesson with crazy people and drama rehearsals with Deanna, Tescelyn and Adelyne. In fact, everyone who's gonna act during the Aesthetics Night this coming 18th of April. Ohmyshit the worst thing is, my friends from church and the gang can't be there because the auditorium seats only a thousand people and apparently, there's not enough space. My momma ain't that fat, people. She doesn't sit next to everyone in the concert hall.
Playing the song "Wonderwall" on my guitar has been a success, now onto learning power chords for The Kill, 30 Seconds to Mars :) I've also topped Chinese class for the first time with an A1 on my test paper. Hard work pays off. I've had two 'first times' yesterday.
And the best thing is, I had my 'first times' with You.
I love You so much more than life, Jesus.
