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22.2.08

Today I broke down in school and only Nicole knew.
I only wanted Nicole to be there for personal reasons.

I hate it when people say Cheer Up.
They don't even recognise the problem.

But I'm not going to wallow in my own self-pity.

Five minutes a day, like Jacqui.

Just five minutes a day.

I still want to cry.

So I'm going to time myself. I've no life?

Whatever.

I'm still going to cell.
I'm going to talk to Lifeng.
I need advice.

This week has been.hell.
I don't wanna feel like that anymore.
I don't want to.
They say "God wasn't there for me."
Then John tells me "It's a test! To see how you'll react to Him."

Well, God, You know what?
I don't wanna take Your test.
I just want You here right now.
I hate holding on. It's killing me, not making me stronger.

5.42 PM to 5.47 PM starts now.