so there's this blinking cursor.
and i've got tons to blog about.
but i'll make this post short and sweet.
one of the best things that my best friend has is faithfulness.
when she feels for something, she really feels her all for it.
even if she doesn't have a very good vocabulary, i know how much she feels for a certain something or someone.
it's that much to make her cry over it - and angel ng never cries.
in fact, she hasn't cried for quite long.
Home by Chris Daughtry.
sleepover last night, i loved every minute of it.
whether it was giggling over crap that martin said or lying down on cold hard floor, listening to each other breathe.
i don't know why i loved it, maybe because these were really awesome and motivating friends.
and mannan's gonna lose 7kg. HELL YEAH!
i think waking up to get angel hot water was fun.
she ate 1/4 of the apple and i finished the rest of it.
we were standing outside in the wind, somehow expecting something to take us on its back and fly off to find Treasure Planet. (hahah)
but i love moments like these with angel, because they're quiet.
and they make me think.
think about what's gonna happen next.
it's the best new year ever.
with angel, martin, quan, mimi, mannan sleeping in my bedroom.
sharing something called breath, or life.
i really felt that way about it all. just so damn thankful to be alive.
and to have my best friend, a rocker, a weirdo, a supporter and a motivated person there.
retarded, i know.
so this morning i woke up and went outside on the balcony to sit, stretch out, whatever.
i told God:
i don't give a shit to what the world thinks of me.
i don't, i don't.
but it was so hard.
and i cried after martin told his life story.
but for a different reason that hurt me so badly that i turned away and closed my eyes.
God was there to hold me i guess.
i was so hurt that when i heard that, it just hit me so badly.
but He didn't let me go.
He answered two prayers:
- a guitar teacher.
i'm not gonna continue my guitar lessons at the music school anymore, because i'll never be able to catch up with people being ahead of me all the time, it just brings me down. i'm glad i've got martin. gotta cut my nails and put my all into it.
- a true friend, who's gonna be there for you through it ALL.
angel has never brought me down before. i can't think of a time when she brought me down, ever. except the time when we quarrelled. and somehow, i don't want anything like that to happen ever again. don't wanna lose her man. sorry if i get so clingy sometimes, it's fun. hahah.
but even as i blog, she's here on MSN encouraging me that i shouldn't wish for a new mom, but appreciate her. these "mom cycles" keep repeating and i don't want to try anymore to make them stop. God i'm desperate.
new year resolutions:
- to take God as who He is. that no matter how much the world may hate me, i have to remember that the world hated Him first. that whatever happens, He's gonna be there for me to hold onto. and trust me, Love is what you'll never want to let go of through the pain.
- that i'll be able to get somewhere with my guitar.
- save up money to buy an acoustic. (or just ask hahah)
- take art seriously and give it my full commitment.
- get good grades for POA.
- slim down, somehow.
- think more about how much God has blessed me with, that i even have a nice room to cry and throw tantrums in behind closed doors.
there.
no more, no less.
happy new year, darlings.
and someday, someone will flirt with me.
1.1.08
