Ron and Pa, two of my life's most significant beings.Cheated during my Chinese exam.
Just one word. Just .. one.
Sat down on a wooden bench at the canteen.
Looked at the sparrows.
Started wondering how birds actually have sex.
Mum bought bread from Provence on our way home.
Sent Ron off at the airport.
Took a photo with Pa to show Clara and Lea in Ireland.
Talked a little bit more,
Then Ron went into immigration.
Gawd, I was that close to leaving with him :)
I have three/four countries to go to when I grow up.
1st choice: Liverpool with Willie
2nd choice: Bristol with Ron or Australia, in future
3rd choice: Singapore with everyone here
Ron says you got to be a delinquent to survive in High School at England.
I'm half-half, but not enough.
Bought a Seventeen Magazine at the airport.
Angel and I may be going to Pepper Lunch later.
Just maybe.
She's gone to play basketball with her juniors, yep.
Last night.
Jia Hui's family came over for dinner.
The Loh family had our steamboat, and it was fun.
Watched a teeny bit on The Simpsons Movie that my eldest bro brought home.
Just looking at the characters makes me laugh, they're so retarded.
Ate a lot last night.
Ron's got a girlfriend, Holly.
I'm sure he likes her a lot, I'm sure he does :)
I've been getting constant headaches.
I must go for Botox, it prevents wrinkles and paralyses the muscle on the forehead.
So it won't be so tense anymore, hahaha
I pray that I do not have brain tumor.
But somehow I think I'll learn a lot while being on my deathbed.
And after all, I won't really die, I'll be in Heaven.
Listening to the chorus of angels and shouting Hallelujah! to the Lord on high.
I was just smsing Herman.
I asked him "Hey. What if I get brain tumor one day?"
He asked if something was wrong.
I just told him if one day I die, will I remember him for who he is?
Herman replied back. He says he won't know what to do but he hopes that this will never happen to me.
Thanks, buddy! :):):) loads of smiles for you! haha
I guess it's uncertainty; I'm trying to live each day like my last.
But not always. So today shall be an exception.
I feel like lying down and never wanting to wake up ever again anyway.
Still, God's telling me that cheating in exams does not bring me or my family glory.
Or to Him, even.
I was thinking about my English in the toilet.
I'm proud to keep a hand-written diary.
That way, I'll die with the identity of one of the world's greatest and most emotional writers who ever lived in history, and I am only fourteen! Lots of smilesxzxzxz!
So I was looking at myself in the car mirror.
The ones outside, by the side of the car.
I don't give a damn what you call those.
But I'll go check it out. (i know i'm ironic, haha)
Hold on.
They're called wing mirrors.
Ah yes, so there I was leaning my face onto the seatbelt.
I looked so tired.
My physical body wasn't, but my soul was.
It was this spiritual connection that I experienced with myself.
My face looked pale and my eyes were yellow.
Perhaps I was hallucinating.
Or perhaps, I've been sinning too much.
And yet He still loves me so much.
And yet He does not destroy the great plans He has for my life.
"Oh Lord, how could I stand here and not be moved by You?
You're my Everything."
I remember asking Willie this question when I was like, p4 or 5.
"You're a Buddhist?"
"Yeah," he said, smiling.
Right now I'm just so 'wowed'.
Because even though he's so faraway from us, he can still follow my family's morals and beliefs, even religion, and declare confidently.
But one day when I grow older, I'd like to ask him,
If what he believed in wasn't true, would he want to know it?
I wonder how he keeps up with his spiritual life sometimes.
I wonder if he doubts who he really is, or if there really is a God.
I wonder if he ever thinks about how he saves people's lives and no matter how much the doctors do, the patient still dies.
I wonder if he ever realises that God's Holy Spirit is so mighty to save that it can bring the dead to life, like the miracles he might have experienced in his workplace when the patient's heartbeat stops for awhile then beeps again on the monitor screen.
I wonder if he knows what Jesus did for him on the cross.
He's like me, really.
A part of him is like me, we're interconnected in a way.
I know who he is inside, I wonder if he knows who his little sister is inside.
Because I feel that Willie's a thinker, just like me.
He's got flat feet too, like me!
And he's very emotional, he wrote poems about the girl he loves.
His English is genius, really, it is.
If only I can find his notebook once again and use it for a song when I grow up, and give all the credit to Willie.
He wrote it when he was in JC or Secondary School, I don't know.
Still, I'm glad I've got such cool brothers.
They let me look at life in a different perspective altogether.
Because You help me to walk on water.
And I know everything will be all right.
Shit, I'm sorry for hurting You.
But thanks for forgiving me before I came mourning to You.
I'm the hypocrite, Lord.
Not them.
Not them.
