Right now, I'm still trying to swallow the hurt down.
Today was a screwed up day for me, and I'm damn disappointed in Vanida, Michelle and Kelvin.
I would like to thank Nicole and Yuying in this post for being there for me all this while.
And the people who comforted me too: Adelyne, Melina, Sheren, Deanna, Christie and Josellin.
Mum picked me up from school, as usual.
I was out on the deck watching the Nanyang girls play archery.
They were pretty good; goooo Nanyang! :D
I miss everyone at NYPS.
All of us have moved on so quickly, we don't even have time to meet up and play basketball anymore.
We shall have a Christmas party at my house in December!
Zhiming's coming back for Christmas anyway, so everything's cool.
I'm eating from the tub of Pulut Hitam ice cream I bought with Dad's money at Island Creamery last night.
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.. D: !Yes. I'm pissed, and I feel as if I have no right to tell my friends off, which I do.
I have no confidence; I try to look on the bright side in case I'm the one who's in the wrong.
But this time, I'm not.
Making the best out of the Sports Carnival only made me feel worse.
Vanida wore green today. She's supposed to wear red, because we're Alexandrians - we're together.
So there I was, playing Captain's Ball with a lousy team.
My ball skills are always good okay, I was the most enthusiastic player besides Josellin and Adelyne on the team!
We obviously lost all the matches.
I felt so betrayed.
I was just sitting at the foyer watching my best friends play for another Sports House and having fun together, without me.
Who am I to them?
Who am I?
Someone you can ditch when I don't meet your requirements?
In this case, someone without a green shirt and who didn't even HEAR YOU GUYS TELLING ME ABOUT IT?!
I did not hear nor see the words "Wear Green Tomorrow" on MSN.
And if you guys had thought about me and really wanted me on your team, you'd make sure that I own a green PE shirt before going home.
Or you could have brought along your red shirt, Vanida, you could have.
Oh gawd, I feel pathetic.
Thanks for making me feel like this, "Best Friends", thanks.
So in the end, no one even came up to me to ask what happened.
Every single one of you looked at me and walked away upon knowing I was angry.
You don't do that.
You sit the angry person down and ask her what's wrong, and you try to understand how she feels with all your might!
That's what a friend does, she listens.
I feel apathetic, because I was worried about Vanida the next day after I heard her tired voice on the phone when she was having a fever.
I can't believe that I actually harboured those thoughts in my mind.
Still, I reminded myself that I can't just rely on the bad times.
Holding a grudge takes too much of my soul to bear.
So I shall forgive you guys.
I promise I'll enjoy tomorrow much more.
Did forfeits in class and went to look at Ms Zheng's Home Economics group at the kitchen while enjoying the free time by walking around the school with Nicole sweetheart.
The group made meat fritters (disgusting name, but good food) and samosas.
It's 3.33 PM and I'm about to take a nap or a good cry.
Shaun's in Japan now.
Gawd, why isn't my gay best friend around whenever I need him?
School would have been so much better if he had been there.
For once, I miss Shaun Soh.
He's the only one who has enough courage to listen to me scream on the phone.
Ohmyslut, I miss Shaun Soh Woon Yuen so so much.
):
p/s: dear reader! when you're angry, listen to the song on my blog.
you may cry, but at least you cry the hurt out of you, and you don't have to feel it any longer.
