TODAY.
i didn't even wake up properly.
my head hurts like shit.
now im at cara's house.
we're going rollerblading later(:
i talked to him on msn.
it seemed okay.
at least, it did, to me.
i had a really bad sleep last night.
i kept tossing and turning.
but i don't want to shut God out of this dilema.
i want Him to be the centre of it.
i don't want to use my ability to overcome this situation.
God is my strength when i am weak.
God is my comfort when i am sad.
God is my provider when i need something.
i was really grateful to have worship at Incandescent.
i missed God (:
YESTERDAY.
oh yar, death note 2 was tragic.
i cried. hahaha.
charmaine and i took a cab to church.
on the way, my heart just kept pounding.
charmaine felt the same way too.
we dreaded church ytd night.
i didn't want to go.
so i saw him talking outside.
he said hi.
he kept calling my name.
i wanted to ignore him but i didn't.
i couldn't.
that look he gave me meant: i know you like me and im sorry if ive hurt you in any way.
i hated it.
everytime i look at him, there's this little something which spoils it all.
i wish i could talk to him like a friend again.
without that little something.
argh.
what the heck anyway.
im only thirteen.
my prince is shining armour will come soon.
JUST LAST NIGHT.
i read about forgiveness during my QT with God.
i asked God to show me who to forgive and why.
Mark 11:25 played a big part during QT.
it was when i realised there were so many people in my life to forgive.
i had to forgive my mum for being unreasinable and stubborn at times.
i had to forgive shaun for dumping me just because he thought it was a right thing to do.
i had to forgive people who irritated me.
i had to forgive people who told me God wasn't real, and that i got brainwashed.
my bestie thinks that you'll be fine even without someone praying for you.
i dont know what to say.. but i'll still pray for her.
i had to forgive people who hurt my feelings.. even though they didn't mean it.
i also realised that there were layers of unforgiveness which had built up after all these years.
the pastor talked about the young people's ministry last night, or something like that.
im going to start and try to win young people for Christ.
"I experienced something really beautiful in my life & i want to share it with you."
and it shall start from there (:
it was an important message.
and i think it got into my brain. praise God. hahaha.
GOING CRAZY.
samuel is only a few hours away.
ive missed him so.
tomorrow he's all MINE.
muahahaha.
(please forgive me, i think im mentally ill right now.)
peace,
liling!
30.12.06
